Moving towards simplicity

We watched ‘Under the Tuscan Sun’ last night

I am a bit envious of Frances’ freedom to just buy a villa in Italy. Now, granted, she got that freedom by her husband having an affair and and a nasty divorce, so I don’t envy that part! (if you have not seen it, you can watch the trailer here). She arrived there with the one suitcase she was traveling with. The ability to start afresh with no physical burdens to bear is an awesome thought.

Minimalism

There is a move in this country, and even the world, called minimalism. It has also been called voluntary simplicity. As we have achieved and acquired so much in our lives, it now feels if IT is weighing us down.

The more stuff you own, the more your stuff owns you.

As I have been journeying down the road from my mental meltdown, and working through the healing process, I have been trying to redefine who I am, what I want from this life and what I want to give back to those around me.

I know now that I do not care for this house full of stuff. (I am so glad we didn’t upsize 3 years ago!)   I grew up in a very cluttered home and have realized the clutter makes me anxious (don’t need any more anxiety!)  So I am working currently on beginning to clear some of the extra stuff from our home. I want to create some ‘white space’ around me, room to breathe and create a beautiful yet simple home for us to relax in.

The more things you commit to, the less of ‘you’ there is.

Speaking of relaxing, the minimalist movement is not just about reducing stuff, it is about creating space in your life, space for the things that are most important to you. Living life YOUR way, with balance and peace in the areas that matter the most to you.  People who live a minimal lifestyle are living intentionally. They may be involved in activities or committees, but they choose intentionally how they want to spend their time by what is important to them.

Minimalism does not look the same for everyone.

There are some who are part of the 100 item challenge, I don’t think I’ll ever be there! Maybe 1000 things?

Others reduce their belongings and purchases to leave a smaller footprint on the earth.

Myself, at this point, am at the point where I am minimalizing mentally and emotionally, to quiet the noise in my head from several years of overload. The piles of clutter around me are indicative of what is happening inside my head. 

As I begin to quiet the noise and be comfortable with who I am and see the beauty inside, I am ready to create some beauty around me. I finally feel I deserve it!

The Healing Process

As part of my healing process, I have greatly reduced the things and activities I am committed to, even my job (currently on medical leave). The majority of what I am currently involved in either has to do with taking care of my body, soul and mind (gym, doctors, and church!) or spending time with my family. These are the most important things in my life!

Eventually I will have to add back in other things, but at this time, I am enjoying gaining peace within my soul and mind. God has been gracious to come down and meet me where I am, broken and desperate, and move me towards healing.

What are your thoughts or experiences with simplifying your life?

My goal is to help as many women as possible with these issues we all deal with! Be sure to subscribe via email or RSS so you don’t miss any posts! If you know of someone who would benefit from the info in this post and in my blog and you would like to share with them, please click on the appropriate link below!

Resources for minimalism and voluntary simplicity

http://zenhabits.net/

http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/

http://www.becomingminimalist.com/

http://www.choosingvoluntarysimplicity.com/

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Ahh, the American dream

A house, a car, or even 2 or 3 cars!

A riding mower.

Stainless steel appliances.

Flat screen TV, Wii gaming system.

Swimming pool, designer landscaping.

Four wheelers, dirt bikes.

Guns, paintball, airsoft.

Boat, jetskis.

Dinner out several times a week.

Karate, baseball.

Cheerleading, softball. 

PTA, homework. 

Checkups, sick days.

Vacations in high gear.

Portable DVD player, iPad.

Paying bills, balancing checkbook.

High speed DSL, HiDef TV.

Doing laundry, cleaning the bathroom.

Taking care of pets, taking care of parents.

Shopping for Christmas, paying taxes.

Non-stop weekends.

Smart phones, Skype.

X-box 360, Sony Playstation.

Fixing cars, fixing washers.

Painting walls, leaky plumbing.

iTunes, Starbucks.

300 channels, nothing to watch.

Closet full, nothing to wear.

3 laptops, 4 iPods.

100’s of friends, no one to talk to.

3 college degrees, no job to be found.

Great paying job, miserable life.

Waiting for someday to finally come.

Is this what you signed up for?

A little different post for me, just overwhelmed by all the things that seem to crowd our lives. Are they things we really need, or even want?  Do you have time to just BE?

If you’d like to know an alternative, read my post, the Cure for the American Dream

My goal is to help as many women as possible with these issues we all deal with! Be sure to subscribe via email or RSS so you don’t miss any posts! If you know of someone who would benefit from the info in this post and in my blog and you would like to share with them, please click on the appropriate link below!

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I cried my way through Eat Pray Love last night

This is a fantastic movie for any woman to see. I have not finished the book yet, but I felt compelled to see the movie right away as Elizabeth Gilbert speaks to some of the same issues I am dealing with right now.

Let me make a disclaimer first. I know there are a lot of opinions about this movie and book and I respect your right to your opinion. This blog post is not meant to debate the good or evil of Liz Gilbert’s choices or the quality of Julia Roberts acting. I am writing about how this movie resonated with me at this point in my life.

I also want to make another disclaimer. As a Christian, I do not agree with all of her spiritual findings. I believe, however, that God can use all things to teach us, and several of her revelations in Eastern religions resonated within me.

Let me explain. Liz felt she had lost herself, she had no idea who she was anymore. She had always ‘had’ to have a guy to complete her. Her mind was tormented with her own thoughts of who she was ‘supposed’ to be, and other people’s expectations of her. She could not find herself among all the noise.

Elizabeth Gilbert Prays in India

One part that so moved me to the core of my being was when she is at the ashram in India. Her friend Richard, who had quite a bit of wisdom, told her quite bluntly. “Groceries (his pet name for her), you have too much going on up here in your mind. There is too much of YOU. You have to get before God, be quiet and meditate, and empty all that stuff out. Once it is empty, God will fill you with so much love!” (this is the best remembrance of his words, not exact by any means). There is no way I convey the intensity of this scene. It was amazing!

Those words shot like an arrow through my heart. You see, my brain is overflowing, constantly racing. Beating me up for what I should and should not be doing. For what I should or should not be feeling. If I was a ‘good’ Christian, I should be able to pray and move beyond this. I cannot stop the noise. 

My Journey

Now I am not going to India, or Bali anytime soon (although I WOULD like to go to Italy!) however, my sweet husband is sending me on personal retreat to Savannah, just a couple of hours away, for a week. Due to my recent meltdown and anxiety, he is joining me for the first 2 days to settle me in, and then I will be left on my own. 

My plan is to spend some time with my Bible and my journal and to pray and to learn to be quiet. I want to learn to use a type of guided meditation, with scripture and music, to help me to clear MY mind. There is WAY too much of ME in there. I have to empty all that out. I feel that God is preparing me for something better in my life, my next step, but I have to learn to get out of the way first. I have to quiet the noise so that I can hear Him.

Empty Me

I have to empty me of me so I can be filled with Him. American Idol contestant Chris Sligh expresses so well how I feel right now in his song “Empty Me”. 

I know that my writing can be a little raw and personal at times. This is part of my therapeutic process and I also hope that I can reach out to someone who may be where I am, or maybe help you catch yourself ‘before’ you sink as deep as I did. I appreciate any comments you may leave, but if you’d rather not share on the blog, click here to email me privately. If you know anyone who you feel could benefit from my blog, I’d love for you to share it with them.

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The topic of Depression – from Eat, Pray, Love

On Friday, August 13, (of all days!), the movie based upon Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat Pray Love opens.

There are many women who are excited about seeing this movie as Liz has a way of expressing what so many women feel, but never say aloud. In her book, she talks about her long struggle with depression before seeking outside help. She read book after book, and tried ‘fixing’ herself by doing all the things these experts told her would help to relieve her depression.

Many of the things she spoke of I have already written in previous posts, breathing, fresh air and sunshine. She also exercised, got a new haircut, drank gallons of herbal tea, but to no avail.

Liz felt, like MANY women in America feel, that admitting you need help and asking for it was a sign of weakness. She got to the edge of being suicidal before she reached out for help.

She eventually took antidepressants and spent hours in therapy to help her overcome or at least get a handle on her depression. She felt it important to express that taking medication alone is just a bandaid. If you do not work through what got you there in the first place, you may find you will return to that same place of darkness again and again.

And that is where I am finding myself, back in the darkness that has enveloped me many times throughout my life. This time it is darker and blacker than ever before.

I waited much too long to admit how badly I was hurting, I mean, after all, my job required me to manage, train, motivate and inspire the 700+ women in my territory. I personified THE company I worked for. I had an image to present, physically and mentally. I was the cheerleader, the confidante.

The sad thing is, I like that part of my job. I just had a difficult time handling ALL the parts of the job at one time. And just before I fell apart, I got to where I didn’t enjoy or feel confident doing even the better parts of my job. I was not being what I needed for my team or for my company. And I didn’t want to admit that I was failing and that I was falling apart inside.

After all,

               I was the strong one.

                                        the motivator.

                                                   the passionate one.

                                                                  the one everyone wanted to be like.

When I told my chiropractor (who sees me several times a year) about my current situation, he could not believe that I was depressed. He said I was always so ‘up’. That was the mask I had to wear for everyone. I am trying to let that front down now, it is too exhausting to keep it up. I just hope that one day I can feel ‘normal’ again, and feel joy again.

I know that is always darkest before the dawn, and I truly feel as if there is going to be a new chapter in my life soon, I just have to find my way through this darkness. With the help of God, my husband, children, friends, doctor, counselor, psychiatrist, and medication, I will make it through to the dawn, but for now, I just keep pressing on, step-by-step, day-by-day.

My goal is to help as many women as possible with these issues we all deal with! Be sure to subscribe via email or RSS so you don’t miss any posts! If you know of someone who would benefit from the info in this post and in my blog, please click here to share!

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Up in the Air with George Clooney

One of my things I am working on in working through my depression and anxiety is dealing with people.  In all our lives, we have people around us. We interact and have relationships with all those we come in contact with. We do not live in a bubble.  And whenever you deal with other people, there will be joy, and there will be pain. People will surprise you with greatness and disappoint you with mistakes. And many times it doesn’t seem fair and doesn’t make sense, but unfortunately it is what it is. The only way to avoid the pain that people can cause us is to remove ourselves from people. Understand however, that if you remove yourself to avoid pain, you also lose the opportunity to experience the joys that relationships can bring. 

We saw a movie early this year. It was a great movie, but also very sad.  Makes you really stop and think about your life.  George Clooney’s character tried to live in a bubble.  What a miserable lonely life.

I will agree that we can carry too much in our “backpacks”, we aren’t meant to carry the world or collect all the stuff in it.  I do believe however, that THE most important thing or things we can have in life are the people.  So cherish those you love. Overlook the annoying flaws, you have them too. 

I will say that there are toxic people in our lives that we may need to remove ourselves from.  If they are not necessary to your life, or they are not your responsibility, then back away.  So what happens if you can’t put that distance there? You have to set boundaries. You have to tie safety lines to others you can trust and depend on. 

I have to say that right now, I am taking a look at all my relationships to see how I can improve them, or remove myself from them.  What about you? Are there some relationships you need to work on, or walk away from?

My goal is to help as many women as possible with these issues we all deal with! Be sure to subscribe via email or RSS so you don’t miss any posts! If you know of someone who would benefit from the info in this post and in my blog, please click here to share!

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