My ramblings are everywhere!

I’m all over the place!

This week, I was allowed to guest post at 40 Moms Club, a great new blog for moms in their 30s, 40s and 50s. My post is Are you a graceful swan or a sinking ship?

Also this week, my first post as contributor on Life Your Way was published. I will be writing for the Productivity Your Way category. My post this month is called Defining your priorties for the holidays.

  I have also been writing on Living the Balanced Life. My latest posts there are:

   The Walking Wounded
   Waiting for Perfect
   I’d love to have you come visit me there!  You can also join me on Facebook and follow me  on Twitter!

Read Full Post »

How to finally eat the elephant

Why do we not do the things we want to,

and do the things we don’t?

The apostle Paul even wrote about it in Romans 7:¹⁵ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate, I do.

Many times there are habits we want to stop, or habits we want to implement in our lives, yet we are consistently unsuccessful.  We tend to beat ourselves up that we are lazy, or maybe even sinful. Unfortunately, this is just part of human nature. The good news is, you can train yourself to implement change in your life.

I am going to use an example that I got from Leo Babauta’s Zen Habits. He is talking mainly about exercise, but the steps are good and can work for ANY habit.

The Main Problems

 

In a nutshell, “It’s just too much to do, it’s overwhelming!”

So why do most people have trouble making exercise a regular habit? Well, there are probably a number of factors, but here are the main ones as I see it:

1. Too difficult. People set out with a lot of ambition and enthusiasm, and start out with a big goal. “I’m going to go to the gym for an hour a day!” or “I’m going to run 30 minutes every day!” The problem is that the goal is too difficult to sustain for very long. You can do it for a few days, but you soon run out of energy, and it becomes a drag to do it.
2. Too many goals. Often we set out to do too much. We want to run, and lift weights, and eat healthy, and quit sweets, and stop drinking soda. Well, those are multiple goals, and you cannot focus on the exercise habit if you’re trying to do all the others at the same time. Or we might start with one goal, but then get caught up in another goal (to stop procrastinating, for example), and lose our focus on the first one.
3. Not enough motivation. It’s not a lack of discipline, it’s a lack of motivation. The most powerful motivators, in my experience, are logging your habit and public pressure. There are many others that help as well.

The 4 Simple Steps

So how do we solve those problems? Keep it simple. Here are the 4 simple steps to start the exercise habit (and keep it going). I should note that you can use these 4 steps to start any habit.

1. Set one easy, specific, measurable goal. There are several keys to setting this crucial goal:
   • Written: Write this down. Post it up. If you don’t write it down, it’s not important.
   • Easy: Don’t — DO NOT — set a difficult goal. Set one that is super, super easy. Five minutes of exercise a day. You can do that. Work your way to 10 minutes after a month. Then go to 15 after 2 months. You can see what I mean: make it easy to start with, so you can build your habit, then gradually increase.
   • Specific: By specific, I mean what activity are you going to do, at what time of day, and where? Don’t just say “exercise” or “I’m going to walk”. You have to set a time and place. Make it an appointment you can’t miss.
   • Trigger: I recommend that you have a “trigger” right before you do your habit. For example, you might always brush your teeth right after you shower. The shower is the trigger for brushing your teeth, and because of that, you never forget to brush your teeth. Well, what will you do right before you exercise? Is it right after you wake up? Right after your coffee? Right when you get home? As soon as you take off for lunch? A trigger that you do every single day is important.
   • Measurable: By measurable, I mean that you should be able to say, definitely, whether you hit or miss your goal today. Examples: run for 10 minutes. Walk 1/2 a mile. Do 3 sets of 5 pushups. Each of those has a number that you can shoot for.
   • One goal: Stick to this one goal for at least a month. Two months if you can bear it. Don’t start up a second goal during that 30-day period. If you do, you are scrapping this goal.
2. Log it daily. This is the key habit. If you can log your workout, you will start to see your progress, and it will motivate you to keep going. And you have to make it a habit to log it right away. Don’t put it off, and say you’ll do it before you go to bed. As soon as you’re done working out, log it. No exceptions. And don’t make the log complicated — that will only make you resist doing the log. Just the date, time, and what you did.
3. Report to others. I think this is key. You can do it on your blog, on an online forum, with your spouse, or friends or family, or a workout partner, or a coach, or a group, or a class. However you set it up, make it part of the process that you have to report your daily workout to other people. It could be using an online log, or on a forum, or through email, or the phone, or just by telling your co-workers what you did this morning. But be sure that they know your goal, and that you are going to report to them, and be sure that they are expecting it every day.
4. Add motivation as needed. The first three steps might be enough for you to get the habit going. But if not, don’t just give up. If you miss two consecutive workouts, you need to look at why, and add a new motivation. Rewards, more public pressure, inspiration, whatever it takes. Read this article for more on this. You can add one additional motivator, and then see if it works. If you miss two more consecutive workouts at any time, add another motivator. And so on, until the exercise habit sticks.

Again, while Leo is basically talking about exercise in general here, these steps will work for ANY HABIT. I encourage you, if there is something you are trying to stop doing or something you want to implement in your life, work through each of these steps to see how it would play out.

One of My Elephants

My regular readers know that I have been dealing with depression and anxiety since this summer. I actually have a difficult time leaving the house. I need to go to the Y to exercise, but have not been making it there. I tend to make it  a lot harder on myself than I should. I realized that I don’t want to go through the trouble of getting dressed and getting my shoes on, etc. So, my very first goal for me to work on really isn’t about exercise, but about me getting myself presentable and dressed AS IF I WERE gonna go to the gym. In my mind I feel that is half the battle. And I will probably use my Google calendar to track it. And my trigger? Have my workout clothes easily accessible, and instead of throwing on my old house grubbiesfirst thing in the morning, dress in gym clothes and put my shoes on.

To many of you, that may seem so simplistic, and say “I need to change something bigger than that, this won’t work for me! That is the issue with me and with many people. We take the whole leg of the elephant and try to carm it in our mouth and don’t see that it is possible. We just have to take that one little bite, and once we do that, it tastes SO GOOD, we take one more bite. It will take time, but eventually you can eat the elephant, one little bite at a time!

What about you? What is your elephant in YOUR life that you would like to be eating right now?

My goal is to help as many people as possible with these issues we all deal with! Be sure to subscribe via email or RSS so you don’t miss any posts! If you know of someone who would benefit from the info in this post and in my blog and you would like to share with them, please click on the appropriate link below!

Read Full Post »

Where have you been?

And where are you going?

As we look back behind us, at our life, we can see the path that we have been down.

We see where we’ve been… what we’ve done.

We see the good times… and the not-so-good.

We are proud of the good choices we made… and would like to forget some of the poor ones.

We see where others we met and interacted with along the way have given us much joy… or brought us much grief.

Many times we would like to go back and change where our path took us

To avoid some of the negatives and the pain.

To end up in a different place than where we are.

These things are not possible.

All we can do with the past, positive or negative, is to embrace it, learn from it, and (this part many people don’t realize!)…

decide which way we want to go from here

Are we content with where our current path is leading? Or do we want to end up somewhere totally different?

The choice is yours. You get to decide what direction your life takes. You can make course adjustments. Did you know that pilots (and the autopilot) are constantly having to make minor course corrections? Being off by 1 degree can make a huge difference in where you end up. By the same token, making adjustments of 1 degree can totally alter your journey.

It doesn’t necessarily take a MAJOR life decision or change to get different results!

I met a wonderful lady this weekend, Laurie Smithwick, co-founder of Kirtsy.com who made a statement that inspired this post. She said…

“We are creating our future by deciding where to step.”

Awesome! You get to decide which direction you take your next step. A little to the right? A little to the left?

But, what about…

I know that we all have been dealt some tough stuff. There are some things out of your control. However, there are a lot of things YOU do have the ability to control, and you need to learn what those things are.

1. Your thoughts
2. Your Attitude
3. How you take care of yourself (eat right, drink water, exercise)
4. How you manage your time (saying No, turning off TV or PC, choosing family time over outside obligations)
5. Learn to live in the moment

Even if you are at a place in your life where a lot of your time is committed to things that ARE important to you (children, family, career) determine even those small things that can make a shift toward the direction you want to head.

For example-

1. Drink water instead of soda
2. Go to bed instead of watching ‘just one more show’
3. Take a 10 minute walk rather than vegging out. If you still want to veg when you return, go for it!
4. Read a book on a subject you want to know more about, even if it is just 15 minutes on your lunch break
5. Research that business idea floating in your head and start creating a plan, even if it is a 5 or 10 year plan
6. Get a new haircut/style that better reflects you
7. Go through your wardrobe and do your best to wear only the clothes that you feel good in, that make you feel confident
8. Spend some time in reflection determining who “you” really are, and where you want your path to eventually lead.

What are some of the little (or BIG) changes you have made to point yourself in the direction you want to be going?

I will be expanding on some of these ideas over the next couple of weeks. Be sure to subscribe HERE so you don’t miss out on any of my posts!

If you know of someone who would benefit from the info in this post and in my blog and you would like to share with them, please click on the appropriate link below!

Read Full Post »

10 Ways to Stop Being So Busy

Being Busy Steals Your Life Away

Most of America and many other developed nations feel that being busy is a badge of honor. 

We think gives us our worth.

 

I think the opposite.

I think that being busy can keep us from being who we TRULY are.

I think it gets in the way of doing the things that are the MOST important to us.

I think that WE use being busy as a way to protect ourselves from stepping out of our comfort zone into what we feel deep inside we ought to be doing — and I am not talking about all the nagging ‘shoulds’ that come from outside, but those things which we know we are ‘called’ to do.

Doing Good, or Doing the Best?

We’ve all heard the quote, “The good is the enemy of the best”. I am not saying that many of the things you are doing aren’t good things. They may even be GREAT things, but, they may not be the BEST THING for YOU at this point in your life. When busyness gets a hold of us, we become bound by our ‘shoulds’ and we cannot be at peace in our lives.

So how can you be sure you are doing the right things?

Christ wants us to have life and have it abundantly. He wants us to have what is best for US. We must be in tune with Him and with our hearts to avoid this empty busyness.

Below is a list adapted from Leo Babauta’s Zen Habits. Included are links to many of his helpful tips to accomplish these things.

10 Ways to Stop being So Busy

1. Make a list of your top 4-5 important things. What’s most important to you? What do you value most? What 4-5 things do you most want to do in your life? Simplifying starts with these priorities, as you are trying to make room in your life so you have more time for these things.  
2. Evaluate your commitments. Look at everything you’ve got going on in your life. Everything, from work to home to civic to kids’ activities to hobbies to side businesses to other projects. Think about which of these really gives you value, which ones you love doing. Which of these are in line with the 4-5 most important things you listed above? Drop those that aren’t in line with those things. Article here.  



3. Evaluate your time. How do you spend your day? What things do you do, from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep? Make a list, and evaluate whether they’re in line with your priorities. If not, eliminate the things that aren’t, and focus on what’s important. Redesign your day.  
4. Simplify work tasks. Our work day is made up of an endless list of work tasks. If you simply try to knock off all the tasks on your to-do list, you’ll never get everything done, and worse yet, you’ll never get the important stuff done. Focus on the essential tasks and eliminate the rest. Read more.  
5. Simplify home tasks. In that vein, think about all the stuff you do at home. Sometimes our home task list is just as long as our work list. And we’ll never get that done either. So focus on the most important, and try to find ways to eliminate the other tasks (automate, eliminate, delegate, or hire help).
6. Learn to say no. This is actually one of the key habits for those trying to simplify their lives. If you can’t say no, you will take on too much. Article here on how to say NO.  
7. Limit your communications. Our lives these days are filled with a vast flow of communications: email, IM, cell phones, paper mail, Skype, Twitter, forums, and more. It can take up your whole day if you let it. Instead, put a limit on your communications: only do email at certain times of the day, for a certain number of minutes (I recommend twice a day, but do what works for you). Only do IM once a day, for a limited amount of time. Limit phone calls to certain times too. Same with any other communications. Set a schedule and stick to it.  
8. Limit your media consumption. This tip won’t be for everyone, so if media consumption is important to you, please skip it (as with any of the other tips). However, I believe that the media in our lives — TV, radio, Internet, magazines, etc. — can come to dominate our lives. Don’t let it. Simplify your life and your information consumption by limiting it. Try a media fast.  
9. Purge your stuff. If you can devote a weekend to purging the stuff you don’t want, it feels seriously terrific. Get boxes and trash bags for the stuff you want to donate or toss. Here’s my guide on decluttering. Here’s a post on starting small.
10. Do what you love. Once you’ve freed up some time, be sure to spend that extra time doing things you love. Go back to your list of 4-5 important things. Do those, and nothing else. Read more.

It will take time to implement these steps. They cannot be accomplished in a week, or even a month. I encourage you, however, if you find that you are not at peace with your level of busyness, that you go through this list, examine your heart, spend some time in meditation, and create an action plan for creating change in your life.

What are some things that you would like to change or possibly do away with in your life? Are there some things you would actually like to add?

 My goal is to help as many people as possible with these issues we all deal with! Be sure to subscribe via email or RSS so you don’t miss any posts! If you know of someone who would benefit from the info in this post and in my blog and you would like to share with them, please click on the appropriate link below!

Read Full Post »

How to Get Lucky

That got your attention, didn’t it?
I don’t mean in THAT way, or actually, I guess it COULD be!

How lucky are you?

Do you consider yourself lucky? Do good things seem to come your way?

Or do you feel as if you always have a gray rain cloud over you and you are never dealt a “good hand”?

A rabbit’s foot, a lucky charm, or determination?

I personally don’t believe in luck as some ‘magic’ force out there, waiting to ‘give’ itself to those who are ‘lucky’.

I believe we make our own luck. By changing your attitudes, behaviors and actions you can change your luck. If you see obstacles as opportunities rather than difficulties then you can turn them to your advantage.

Now, I am not talking about wishing for something. I mean, if you want to win the lottery, you’ve at least gotta buy the ticket! But that is not really the kind of luck I am talking about here. To make a change in your life for the better, you have to put forth some effort.

Luck comes down to your attitude and the actions you choose on a regular basis

We all know someone who seems to be lucky. Serendipity seems to be their best friend. Definition of serenditpity– an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.

True ‘lucky’ people create their own serendipity. They don’t sit around and wait for luck to find them, they make things happen. Experts agree that with a few simple steps, you can significantly increase the chances of meeting your soul mate, finding the right business partner, or steering your life in a new direction. That might sound unlikely or even naive, but there’s real science to prove that while you can’t control the randomness of life, you can definitely create your own luck.

So, how can you ‘Get Lucky”?

1. Believe that YOU can be a winner. You CAN be successful. If you can’t believe in yourself, then who will?
2. Learn to listen to yourself. You have to be comfortable in your own skin and trust what you are feeling and thinking. Develop your intuition.
3. Don’t be afraid to try new things. Put yourself out there. Go to different places than you would normally go. Expand your horizons.
4. Keep your eyes and mind wide open. Learn to ‘see’ with your heart.
5. Work on other areas of your life. Want to be successful? Learn to do the things successful people do. Create the habits of successful people. Don’t know where to begin? Darren Hardy is a great place!
6.  Expect to take 2 steps forward and 1 step back. No one succeeds in everything they do. Thomas Edison had 1000’s of failures before his light bulb actually worked. What if he’d given up after the 10th or even 100th attempt? Figure out what did work and what didn’t, make adjustments, and then move forward!

My daughter’s story

I have a personal story to relate this. My youngest daughter is 17. She has had 4 jobs so far, each one she quit because she found something better by putting herself out there. She is starting online classes next week for fashion design. She wants to work in film and/or modeling as a fashion stylist.  So far, she has had 1 or 2 parts as an extra in TV/movies.

Last week, she spent the day with her boyfriend at a fitting for an upcoming feature role he has, she learned a lot from the wardrobe person, asking a lot of questions and watching everything going on around her. She actually ended up with a part that day as well, but her goal is to “get in the door” and learn the fashion and costuming side of the business. Her boyfriend worked his way up from being an extra to being a feature, just by talking to people. Not being afraid to start conversations and express his ideas. And she will be capable of doing the same thing, and learning and making connections.

Let me just tell you, we do not live in New York or in California, so we are not near major hubs for this sort of work. We live in a country town 60 miles outside of Atlanta, so she will have to ‘find’ these opportunities. The days of filling out an application and hoping someone calls is over.

Waiting for your ship to come in?

If you want something in your life, I encourage you to start looking at steps you can take to make it happen. Learn everything you can about the subject. Research opportunities that might be close to you that you can take advantage of. You can’t sit at home on your hands waiting for your ship to come in! You need to be researching online, out talking to people, and then show up at the harbor asking questions!

What actions are you taking to create your own luck?

My goal is to help as many people as possible with these issues we all deal with! Be sure to subscribe via email or RSS so you don’t miss any posts! If you know of someone who would benefit from the info in this post and in my blog and you would like to share with them, please click on the appropriate link below!

Read Full Post »