We watched ‘Under the Tuscan Sun’ last night
I am a bit envious of Frances’ freedom to just buy a villa in Italy. Now, granted, she got that freedom by her husband having an affair and and a nasty divorce, so I don’t envy that part! (if you have not seen it, you can watch the trailer here). She arrived there with the one suitcase she was traveling with. The ability to start afresh with no physical burdens to bear is an awesome thought.
Minimalism
There is a move in this country, and even the world, called minimalism. It has also been called voluntary simplicity. As we have achieved and acquired so much in our lives, it now feels if IT is weighing us down.
The more stuff you own, the more your stuff owns you.
As I have been journeying down the road from my mental meltdown, and working through the healing process, I have been trying to redefine who I am, what I want from this life and what I want to give back to those around me.
I know now that I do not care for this house full of stuff. (I am so glad we didn’t upsize 3 years ago!) I grew up in a very cluttered home and have realized the clutter makes me anxious (don’t need any more anxiety!) So I am working currently on beginning to clear some of the extra stuff from our home. I want to create some ‘white space’ around me, room to breathe and create a beautiful yet simple home for us to relax in.
The more things you commit to, the less of ‘you’ there is.
Speaking of relaxing, the minimalist movement is not just about reducing stuff, it is about creating space in your life, space for the things that are most important to you. Living life YOUR way, with balance and peace in the areas that matter the most to you. People who live a minimal lifestyle are living intentionally. They may be involved in activities or committees, but they choose intentionally how they want to spend their time by what is important to them.
Minimalism does not look the same for everyone.
There are some who are part of the 100 item challenge, I don’t think I’ll ever be there! Maybe 1000 things?
Others reduce their belongings and purchases to leave a smaller footprint on the earth.
Myself, at this point, am at the point where I am minimalizing mentally and emotionally, to quiet the noise in my head from several years of overload. The piles of clutter around me are indicative of what is happening inside my head.
As I begin to quiet the noise and be comfortable with who I am and see the beauty inside, I am ready to create some beauty around me. I finally feel I deserve it!
The Healing Process
As part of my healing process, I have greatly reduced the things and activities I am committed to, even my job (currently on medical leave). The majority of what I am currently involved in either has to do with taking care of my body, soul and mind (gym, doctors, and church!) or spending time with my family. These are the most important things in my life!
Eventually I will have to add back in other things, but at this time, I am enjoying gaining peace within my soul and mind. God has been gracious to come down and meet me where I am, broken and desperate, and move me towards healing.
What are your thoughts or experiences with simplifying your life?
My goal is to help as many women as possible with these issues we all deal with! Be sure to subscribe via email or RSS so you don’t miss any posts! If you know of someone who would benefit from the info in this post and in my blog and you would like to share with them, please click on the appropriate link below!
Resources for minimalism and voluntary simplicity
http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/
I can so relate to this post. I am there now wanting to simplify and get rid of the “stuff”. We have made a huge start at doing this and I know in the coming year, that will increase. Great post!
Thanks so much!
Candace
Candace,
Fantastic that you have made a start! It is sad, yet amazing that it took a recession for Americans to realize that it isn’t the things in life that are important. It’s who we ARE and the PEOPLE closest to us!
Thanks for coming by!
Bernice
I think that the best minimalists were the Native Americans. They lived very simply. Most tribes were nomadic and could pack up and be gone in less than 15 minutes if they had to move fast. The idea of being able to leave without a trace in less than 15 minues is hilarious. If someone even gave us the challenge, it would take 15 minutes just to process it.
I am understanding some things about my body now that I never did before. For instance, I do believe have lived with chronic fatigue since I was in junior high school. That is one heck of a long time to be tired. Yep. I hit burn out in the 7th grade. I was so chronically fatigued that I had mono and never knew it. That is how bad I felt all of the time. Every six to eight weeks I had a sinus infection or bronchitus.
In my early 30s I started getting migraines. They were hormonally induced by my cycle. Sort of. They threw the hormones in my cycle off, so my brain sent the message to my adrenal gland for cortisol (the stress hormone) and it had nothing to give. I imagine my adrenal glad crapped out in the 7th grade, too. Hence, the migraine because it had to fulfill the order of the brain, so it borrowed from my other hormones, making the imbalance worse.
Eventually, all of the other triggers for migraines worked like the one above. Stress is the biggie. I married a chronically stressful person (my bad) in 2002 and in 2003 the migraines became relentless. I would have left but his kids moved in (4 and 5 years old) and we found that their mother’s husband was abusing her and starting in on them. He had no chance of getting custody as a single person AND those kids were so damaged. We/he got custody and I stuck it out as long as I could. I thought I would get better when we divorced. I didn’t. In 2006, I sold my house and moved in with my parents. My doctor really wanted me to file for SSD, but I was too proud. Wouldn’t do it. I also didn’t believe her on my “recovery time.” Well, I am still with my parents and still live with a daily migraine. I am now filing bankruptcy and filing for SSD.
Of course there is more to this story. Turns out I have other problems, too. But, if I had filed for the SSD when my doctor wanted me to do it, I wanted be nearly the burden to my parents that I am now. Pride. It is always the last thing to go.
Anyway, I clicked on all of your links within this blog. I look forward to reading more about your minimalistic living. I already live fairly minimally. My problem remains too much stuff and not enough space. Although, I have purged a lot recently. For the most part, it was good.
I don’t think we’ll ever get back to the point of the native Americans, but it is amazing to think of.
It is a shame that you are having to go through all that you are. If your situation is anything like mine, if I had ‘listened’ to my body, I could have avoided some of the repercussions. Now I just have to learn to make the necessary changes to refain some of the health I lost. Hopefully you’ll be able to do the same!
Bernice
Pack up and move in 15 minutes? They clearly didn’t have toddlers! I can’t get my two little girls dressed and out the door in 15 minutes let alone making sure they have everything with them that would cause a tantrum if they don’t have it at nap or bedtime!!
I think that is my most difficult struggle with minimizing my life; my daughters. I want them to have what I had and even have what I didn’t have. But how do I know what they really need, what they will really value in the end and what will just become their own clutter?
Not to mention actually keeping their lives simple and minimal. My two year old already has preschool twice a week, swim lessons twice a week, a reading buddy once a week and playdates. I just don’t know which activities to say yes to, which are just “clutter” in her life and which are truly valuable.
I want my girls to grow up as well balanced, educated and happy women but I also want them to know nature, be happy with simple pleasures and be able to have time in their lives to relax. Where do we find the balance?
Abbie,
I hope I can come across the right way, but I just have to ask you, if your daughter is already doing all these things at the age of 2, what kind of hectic, packed lifestyle will you be setting her up for?
I had 4 kids, and we homeschooled for 8 years. I found activities that we could do as a family or that all the children could participate in so at least we together and we could share the experience. They all took art, they all took gymnastics, they all played softball at a small church league. These were NOT all at the same time! We also had several homeschool families we fellowshipped with on a regular basis.
As they got older, they each branched into their own talents. They actually all did community theater, then 1 daughter branched into a theater tech, the other started taking ballet. My son became an avid skateboarder and learned to work on cars.
During all this time, we tried to focus on experiences and relationships and not so much on things and achievement.
As they are all about grown, 17-28, I’d like to think they are well adjusted and have experienced a lot of different things.
I know that some parents will limit their children to one activity at a time.
You are right that they need time to just ‘be’, to enjoy nature, and to be a family. I hope this helps you consider what is the best for you, your daughter and your family.
Thanks for coming by!
Bernice
What a beautiful post! I’ve been on my journey towards simplicity for a number of years as well and have learned so much about myself and my relationships to others and stuff. It is so freeing isn’t it to not be burdened by the expectations and clutter of life.
Laura,
I think you really hit the nail on the head with the word journey. Just like the rest of life, simplicity IS a journey, and not a destination. You just need to be making consistent process all along the way!
Thanks for coming by!
Bernice
You have done a wonderful job describing your journey… I have been working towards the minimalist life for a while now. I have actually been pretty successful… My ol’man -not so much. But that’s okay… this is about me and what’s right for me.
I have been meditating off & on for about 20 or so years and that has helped to clear out some of the clutter in my mind…
As for possessions, material things… well they have never been important to me. Most everything I own will fit in my car.
So I’m getting closer. I have a hard time with actually going to the donation sites – I clean things out, bag them up with intentions of donating, but then procrastinate making the trip. I’m working on that 😉
What a very good post! And BTW, thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving me the Benadryl therapy suggestion for getting sleep! LOL
Come back anytime and I am signing up to follow your blog!
http:creationsbyageorgiapeach.blogspot.com
simplifying has been the best thing we’ve ever done – not only making time for more “time” with one another (my hubs and I) and family and not overcommitting anymore – but also simplifying materially – it can be exhausting working so hard to maintain “things” – on top of that, we have eliminated 95% of our debt *hallelujah* and that has taken discipline and commitment on our part and a real renewing of our mindsets. We only have a very small debt to a family member now, but no corporate debt (this is the first time since we know one another that either my husband or I have some type of debt, whether it be a car pymnt, loan, credit card bill, IRS debt, or something) – this has been so liberating and we have had more freedom than ever. We will most definitely continue moving forward on this journey, we are happier than ever. Now we have been doing things on our “bucket list”, learning new things we’ve always wanted to learn and experience, it’s just been the grandest adventure ever!
What a great article! Thanks for this.
I am simplifying – because we moved – and so a lot of weeding of “stuff” occurred. With 4 children at home (a fifth married) – it’s hard to simplify because of their activities. However, I so understand that need to quiet my life. My biggest change to do that was let my boys ride the school bus to school (this is the 19th year of having boys in school – and none ever rode the school bus) – I have literally gained 4 hours back into my day. 4 hours of quiet, stillness – and I feel so much better!
I had noticed your comments on Joshua’s blog for the past few weeks and decided to pop over and read this post. My goal in 2010 is to continue to remove the physical, spiritual, emotional, and body clutter from my life. Since it is already September, I think it will be my goal for 2011 too.
Most people, when they think of clutter, they just think of material possessions. Many don’t realize that is only the beginning! I am definitely going to try to work on each of these areas. Here’s to 2011 being a much ‘lighter’ year!
Thank you so much for coming by!
Bernice
My whole married life was minimalistic! Because we moved so much. But this past year was an eye-opener for me, with my BFF moving away and another friend choosing another’s side over mine…I didn’t choose to live simpler, it kind of just happened.
The lesson for me? Choose wisely and don’t let others coerce you into saying yes just to please. All that you are working on is of great value.
For now, it’s mostly family, working toward an exercise routine and only one commitment to church.
I wish I could toss my job out the window too, like Frances, but this is the real world!
That’s interesting about the natives being able to pack up in 15mins!
I’m all for minimalism and am pushing my way towards it little by little.
Good luck to you too…. I wrote a nice long post a while back that may interest you http://frugalzeitgeist.com/how-to-simplify-your-life/
I do try to have space. Clutter starts to choke me after a while. There’s such a sense of freedom in purging ‘stuff’!
It’s something to work on for sure.
great post stopping by from friday follow over forty stop by sometime
http://www.livelaughlovewiththeponderingprincess.com/2010/09/how-do-you-make-lemonade-out-of-these.html
I so love reading your thoughts in this post! I tweeted it, I appreciate it so much! I still cannot figure out how to follow you. can you help me figure this out? Also, I would so appreciate it if you could come on over and link up this fabulous post about cleaning out our lives over on my friday blog hop going on right now and through the weekend. But anyhow, thank you for this great inspiration! Roz
I have been trying to simplify for about a year…slowly getting there! I love your blog and will be following and reading! I just don’t follow I actual come back and read!
Simplification has played a big part in my over-all approach to managing my anxiety. I regularly de-clutter my home, giving away things I no longer need. I recently renovated and my house is very airy and open – I love it.
To declutter my mind I practise yoga and do other forms of exercise a few times a week. This really helps me. I have also let go of a few commitments that were dragging me down and have freed up my time for the things I love.
I am not free of anxiety but I’m much better able to cope with anxiety when it hits.
In 2007 I took the plunge. I quit my job, sold my house, and sent everything (but one suitcase of necessities, and a trunk full of memories) to an auction clearing house.
Unlike Under the Tuscan Sun (great movie) it wasn’t a messy divorce that prompted the drastic change in my life. I had known for some time, years actually, that I wanted to “live a richer life with less” and I even had my–over worked, stressed out, much loved husband, convinced of the same.
Before we could share that dream together, I lost him to a massive heart attack. I had to make the journey on my own.
I moved to a tiny Island called Roatan, nestled in the Caribbean Sea off the coast of Honduras. I live a simple life, sharing my day-to-day experiences on Roatan, at my site; roatanvortex.
While this drastic of a move isn’t for everyone, for me it was exactly what I needed to do, and now I get to live and experience what really matters in this world for me.