There is a war going on inside of me. Part of me says “Do you best, shoot for the stars, reach for your dreams”! The other part says “Why do you work so hard? Be ye content with such things as ye have. Godliness with contentment is great gain”.
The battle continues. If I am reaching for my dreams, working toward my goals, always reaching, reaching, I feel as if what I am is not good enough. If I don’t make ‘the’ goal, I feel as if I am a failure.
If I am always reaching, I also forget to take a look around and enjoy the journey. I am always trying to figure out what worked and what didn’t. What do I need to try differently next time?
Society doesn’t help either. They are constantly pushing you to Do Do Do, Have, Have, Have. Bosses push for more from you. Our calendars want more from us. We feel pressure, whether real or imagined, from our peers and our family.
Burnout or underachiever?
If I continue at this pace, eventually I will burnout. I will burn out and will use up the resources within me at too fast a rate. Actually, this is what DID happen to me. Complete and total burnout which led to a mental meltdown.
So, as I go through a time of healing and searching, my mind may want to swing the other direction. The other side of that coin seems to be contentment. Enjoying where you are. Stop working so hard. As I began to look more deeply into that though, however, that is not contentment, it is a life of checking out, of giving up, of not trying at all to improve or grow.
We’ve all met people who have seemed to have ‘checked out’ of life. They have no goals, no dreams. “Just gonna work this job til I die or can get social security.” In their hearts, they don’t think they can get any better, don’t deserve any better, so they don’t work for any better. They have traded the sensation of ‘living’ for the security of a paycheck.
That is a life of underachieving. Burnout may be overdoing, but to just give up is to not BE what you were meant to BE, not using what God has given you in this life. What a waste!
Benjamin E. Mays said it best~~
… the tragedy in life does not lie with not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in not having a goal to reach.
It isn’t a calamity to die with dreams unfulfilled, but it is a calamity not to dream.
It is not a disaster to be unable to capture your ideal, but it is a disaster if you have no ideal to capture.
It is not a disgrace not to reach the stars, but it is a disgrace to have no stars to reach for.
Finding the balance
The challenge for me personally is this… being able to set goals and reach for them without burning out. Working towards a dream without letting it overtake me. Using the resources I have, but never forgetting Who they came from. And learning to balance the striving with the living, the DO-ing with the BE-ing. I don’t have to be perfect, I just have to become the me I was meant to be, and that is good enough!
When you die and go to heaven, our maker is not going to ask, ‘Why didn’t you discover the cure for such and such?” The only question we will be asked in that precious moment is “Why didn’t you become you?” ~~ Elie Wiesel
I believe we each have a purpose in our life, and our goal should be to discover that purpose and then reach for it (don’t forget the parable of the talents!) . One of my favorite motivational speakers, Les Brown says, “Shoot for the moon, and even if you don’t make it, you’ll end up among the stars!” I’d add, “Just don’t forget to enjoy the journey and the view along the way!”
My goal is to help as many women as possible with these issues we all deal with! Be sure to subscribe via email or RSS so you don’t miss any posts! If you know of someone who would benefit from the info in this post and in my blog and you would like to share with them, please click on the appropriate link below!
You are right. Sometimes it is difficult to be ok with “good enough” instead of perfection. I’m so thankful for the grace of a perfect God that covers our imperfection! 🙂
You my dear are a beautiful woman, and thank you for that post. It hit the nail on the head for me.
We had a conversation at work yesterday when the supervisor announced she had accepted a position elsewhere. The conversation turned to those who would be eligible for her position but would not apply for it because they had no desire or ambition for upward movement. The ones who would not apply were spoken of in an almost derogatory tone – as if there were something wrong with not wanting to claw your way to the top and not being content with where you are. I think life would be less stressful if we learned to be content with our lot. Not everyone has to be the boss nor should they be.
just came by to say…
thanks for stopping by on my sits day, a day that i needed just a WEEEE bit of extra love 🙂 ur awesome!!!!
My problem was that I was working so hard for perfection I didn’t realize I’d passed excellent a long time ago.
I had a meltdown as well. A full burnout that left me in bed for a year and a half. Barely functioning.
When I started to feel better I pushed too hard and did it again. Apparently, I’m a slow learner.
I’d say I did it three or four times before another major burnout. By that time I was in therapy and had learned a few things. I’m doing better this time around.
The tricky thing for me is learning that I have value even if I am not doing and producing all day every day. Sometimes just sitting and visiting is a great gift I can give. And it has great value. And it doesn’t wear me out.
And it’s me.
Stumbling across your blog post today was fortunate. Those are my issues right now, when I care to address them. After a year of some repose, I’m still feeling burned out. The dream, the ideal, the star to reach for is pictureless at the moment. Only a moment. I know I will regain it. Until then, I aimlessly wander about trying every jumpstart. Thanks for the post. You’ve got me thinking. 🙂
Su-sieee! Mac
This and That. Here and There. Now, Sometimes Then.
Thank you for coming by my blog. I read several of yours and I agree with this need to slow down. Breathe more. I don’t know how much of mine you read, but I have chronic migraines, among other chronic issues, and pain just sucks the joy out of your life. It can be really hard to stop, be still, and remember that it is still out there. I am going to follow you by putting you in my google reader. I have another friend on wordpress. I am no expert at computer stuff, but I have learned to copy/paste your url and put it into my reader and it will notify me when you publish a new blog! And that is about the extent of my ability to do snazzy stuff on here. (Hangs head in shame) Oh well. I have this feeling that my computer skills are going to be improving sometime in the distant future:-)
divine……always good and honest writing……..
we all know a kind of happiness …..but somehow we do not
find it…..we set one goal after another…..finding the winning post…..we match the joy to happiness our being wants to be….and again it does not match…..and it goes on….till last and we go empty handed from this world…….
the happiness we are looking is oneness of our childhood time……..the timelessness……that is the reason we all do not
remember anything before age of 3…….
as we grow our right brain…. between …our emotional intelligence…..soul and our left brain…..our logical intelligence……our body….the mind energy field develops…..gap develops causing loss of eternal happiness….which we try to fill through worldly achievements…..failing spiritual practices….yoga…meditation…..comes into life of some…
which are helpful for the balance but does not fill the gap…
many starts on medical help….intoxication……
breath in….. love….
breath out…… happiness…….
true meaning of life…..
every breath invaluable….earns… invaluable happiness….
learn = l earn = love earn = happiness of body..mind..soul..spirit..
right hand …body
left hand ….soul..
bring them together…
minimum for 3 minutes
like prayers… oneness again….
mind to no mind…
stress….zero..
life = dance of zero
love all… so simple…
Can’t wait to read all about you later this evening – glass of wine in hand, better than magazines!
Followed you from the hop!
“if” and “should” were the first words ( and their meaning) which I excluded on my way to become myself.
For myself it was important to figure WHY I went for goals so high that I am constantly close to burn out.
For me it was that more calm and looking closer meant pain and this I didnt want. Hence I took on more goals then I could handle, yet constantly felt “hunted” down by something. This something not only hold my trauma yet it hold my self sabotage to.
By now the something is faced and nearly without any effort, I slowed down.
Now I smell the roses and reach goals…
Love across the pond
I found your blog through a Follow Friday Blog Hop. I am a fellow over 40 woman, (actually almost 50 now) and I would love to follow your blog but I don’t see a follow link. Perhaps because your blog is wordpress and not blogger. I would love to subscribe via email but I only see RSS, which I cannot seem to keep up with as well as email.
I am batting 0 here. 😦 I am going to just bookmark your blog and visit often…love reading your ramblings.
Anna
http://thebabystoreplus.blogspot.com
Good enough – that’s it.
I’ve learnt that but still sometimes I forget…but I wake up early enough – before it’s too late…
Great post, thanks for sharing!
That’s great that you’ve learned! I believe it is one of those lessons we have to learn over and over unfortunately! I know I do, lol!
Thanks for visiting!
Bernice
I am so glad that you found my blog and are following so that I can reciprocate and follow you back…..this was a most wonderful post to read; so honest of you! I agree with all the thoughts that you penned and look forward to learning and growing alongside with you in this journey called life.
Roz over at La Bella Vita
Thanks for the button posting of the Fresh Clean and Pure Friday Blog Hop. I’m not sure if you entered the link to this post, but I’ll do it for you because I think everyone should read this and find your blog!
Thanks for coming by! I’m glad I found you and your bloghop, gives me a whole new group of bloggy friends to meet!
Bernice
I’m not having any success clicking on your RSS follow button, but will keep trying. Thanks, Roz
OK, I think that I’m all linked up to follow you now! Hope so, I don’t want to miss any of your thoughts! Bye for now, Roz
hmmmmm…. the balance between setting goals and not burning out? you’re right – it’s a tough one. for me i know that my husband is part of God’s answer to that issue. he helps me to see when i need to slow down… cause i probably have more of a problem with that extreme than the checking out… but oh, it’s contantly something to evaluate isn’t it? AND, we’ve got to make sure we’re not performing to just be accepted by others or by God our ourselves. be *and* do. one is not better than the other… we need to be who we are *and* do what we’re called to do. both are important!
You are absolutely right! Be ‘who’ we are and do ‘what’ we are called to do. That is the key, but so many just ‘flow’ along and live what life brings them… It’s sad!
Thanks for coming by!
Bernice
Your grandbabby is really beautiful. Now to this post. I once heard an expression that Perfection is a worthless standard.
with so much on my plate these days, I am living less by perfection and more by the 80/20 rule. I am asking myself what I can do to reach 80% of the desired result and typically find that it is “good enough”.
That leaves me more time to be proactive about doing the things that are really aligned with my goals and purpose.
Thanks for this great post.
Kim Bauer
http://www.confabulicious.com
Wonderful post. Balance is the key to life. I have found over the years that I must take things one day at a time. I keep my goals before me, but I also understand that pacing myself and having faith that things will happen in God’s timing as long as I make my best effort keeps me from stressing so much. I had to learn how to stop living in the future and realize the present I am experiencing is actually a realization of a goal I had in the past. When I looked at it that way, it helped me enjoy my today while en route to my tomorrow.
p.s. Thanks for your candor. It is so refreshing!