What are you saying to yourself?
As I begin to work through renewing my mind and body and praying for healing, I am having to learn to rewrite some of the things I tell myself in my head. Self-talk can be extremely helpful or very detrimental to relieving stress and achieving some emotional balance. One thing I am trying to get ingrained is ‘Progress not Perfection’. No one person is ever a finished product. Seeking perfection in yourself or others is a exercise in futility. By trying to hold ourselves, or those around us, to a standard of perfection, can quickly lead to a downward spiral in depression. We have to realize that life is about each step that we take, even if they are baby steps.
Shouldn’t I strive to be the best person I can be?
Absolutely. And the key parts of that phrase are ‘strive’ and ‘best I can be’. It is a constant process. We will never completely attain it in this life, as we are all human. And as humans, we are all different. We have different strengths and abilities, and our own life experiences will vary the rate at which we each progress.
We must allow ourselves to compete on our own level paying field. I cannot compare myself to you, or to my neighbor or co-worker. As much as possible to reduce stress and live in health and peace, we must concentrate on our personal best, regardless of what others would, should or could do.
My personal best
And even our ‘personal best’ changes from day to day. As for myself, these days, sometimes it’s a chore just to just get out of the bed. Renewal indicates a ongoing, one day at a time process. So I seek to, each day, do what my personal best is for that day. Whether it is taking a walk around the block with my dog, doing 30 minutes of yoga, or just getting out of the bed and into the tub, I have to accept that at this point in my life, I cannot compare what I can do to others, only to myself. And hope and pray that each day is a little better than the day before.
Life is a journey, not a destination. And the path will still be there waiting. Life has no deadline, no finish line, no time table. This doesn’t mean I shouldn’t set personal goals. But if the goal is unrealistic, or for whatever reason, I can’t or don’t complete the goal, there is absolutely no reason to despair.
I used to have much bigger goals, but I have to be realistic at this point. Right now my goals are small, things such as:
getting a full night’s sleep
taking at least a short walk daily
eating 3 meals a day, and really enjoying the food
prayer and meditation, to learn to listen to God and quiet my mind
Being able to go to the grocery store alone with having a panic attack
Venturing out of the box
As I am on a personal retreat in Savannah, I am working to go out each day and do something that is a little outside my comfort zone. Last night, that was going to dinner on my own. Today, part of me wants to stay holed up in my cute little place here, however, I know that going out to the beach and sitting or walking would be good for me, but I have to push myself to go. Sounds crazy, having to MAKE myself go to the beach. But that is what depression and anxiety will do to you. Put you in a box and make it scary to leave. I AM going, as soon as I publish this post!
As women, if we had a close friend was suffering, you’d be there for her. We have to learn to be there for ourselves, to care of ourselves. And that is what I am learning to do, one day at a time. What can you do today, to take care of YOU?
My goal is to help as many women as possible with these issues we all deal with! Be sure to subscribe via email or RSS so you don’t miss any posts! If you know of someone who would benefit from the info in this post and in my blog, please click here to share!