I have recently gone through quite a bit of change and turmoil in my life. I basically had a mental meltdown back in July. (I don’t like saying ‘nervous breakdown’ and it is not a true medical term anyway!) I had gotten to a point where nothing in my life was working. I had pushed myself to the MAX in so many different areas, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, in my relationships and in my career. My body finally had enough and said NO MORE!
My Life at a Standstill
I had to take a medical leave from my job. I could barely leave the house, much less go to work. I couldn’t even go to Walmart by myself! I reduced other responsibilities I had. Luckily my kids are mostly grown, so they can take care of themselves most of the time! I stopped just about anything and everything I was doing. Pruned it away.
Rotten thinking
I had to start working on my mind as well. I had some pretty messed up ways of looking at things.
Things like…
- I have to do all that is expected of me
- I have to do it if I want it done right
- My way is the best way and therefore the only way
- I have to keep up a front that I am ok
- I had to look the part of the professional role model all the time
Notice that these thoughts are all based on the big “I”. As I started pruning these things away with the help of my psychologist, my hubby and much prayer, I realized that alot of these thoughts were based in…
PRIDE
And, although I like to joke about this, I have had to REALLY learn that there is a God, and it isn’t ME.
I am NOT all powerful.
I CANNOT do everything.
I AM NOT Superwoman.
So, I am pruning out these thoughts… although I do find it is an everyday struggle!
STUFF!
Now that I am beginning to feel better, (more on that in a minute) I am also starting to prune away in my physical surroundings. I had surrounded myself with a lot of STUFF. I think that lots of stuff is another way of hiding. I am tired of hiding behind ANYTHING, so I am pruning away my belongings. Getting rid of the extra, the stuff that doesn’t add joy or value.
Want growth? Gotta prune!
Now, I am no gardener, but I can tell you this, pruning is necessary for growth. If vines and trees and bushes are not pruned properly, they can never grow to their full potential.
In the Bible, in John 15, Jesus is portrayed as the gardener. As the Gardener, he examines each and every branch and twig in our vines to see if they are healthy or not. We also need to take this role in our lives.
Examine your life. Ask these questions–
- Am I fruitful in this area?
- Or am I just spinning my wheels?
- If I rid myself of “this”, could I better use my time over “here” instead?
Prune, or be pruned!
And, personally, as a Christian, I believe that if we do not make these adjustments to our vines on our own, the Gardener will bring or allow things into our lives to do the pruning for us. That, is what I feel happened in my life. I had let many things get out of control, I had weeds and vines all intertwined and had allowed quite a mess!
But I think that the Gardener was sitting back and saying, “I have SO much more for you. There is such great potential for you, but you cannot see it with all this overgrowth.” And so PRUNING was required. I had no choice at this point. I was at the end of myself, and so the pruning began.
Cutting away those things that were unhealthy for my mind, soul and spirit. Clearing away the brush so I could see the open sky waiting for me. Chopping out completely the limbs that were diseased.
Was it painful? Absolutely.
Was it humbling? You better believe it. You see, before, I had quite a plant growing. I mean, I had vines going every direction, and it looked liked there was growth and life there, and then it was all cut away.
Now, however, I have hope. I know that the Gardener only wants the best for me. And instead of that mess I had, with his pruning, and my new growth with his guidance, I can grow into something more like this, with beauty, and the opportunity to see and do so much more than I could have before.
Am I there yet? Nope. I’ve got a lot of growing to do. I’ve gotta make sure I am doing the right things for the right reasons. I have make sure my thoughts don’t get skewed again. I need to add the right things to my life for the right reasons. For now, this is how I see myself.
See that little shoot growing from the cut stump? That is me. Rising up from my pruned state, green leaves reaching toward the sky in anticipation of what is to come!
Have you ever been through the “pruning process”? What are some things that were pruned away?
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Oh sister I can relate to the pruning process…This journey these last few years had brought about such a soul upheaval that involved a lot of breaking up of hard ground in order to bring new life out within me. Looking back, I know how much our gracious Heavenly Father had been longing for my inner Springtime, and we all know that no growth takes place without God pulling up noxious weeds and softening our soil. Such a violent process it can be – and the process is still ongoing……All I can do is hang on to the Master Gardener’s busy hands as HE toils knowing that something beautiful will emerge. SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL WILL EMERGE!!! and I laugh to myself because I know it already has….and continues to….i know this…..I do….
I guess as the dirt and weeds were flinging everywhere I felt appalled at the work that had to be done. “Look at the mess,” I’d say to myself, but HE kept on working. That’s what’s so amazing. God doesn’t shy away from the work it takes to form us. Our timeless God of grace not only labors to make the garden of our souls beautiful, HE enjoys the fragrant, colorful wonder that WE WILL BE, that’s already so apparent to HIM…
It brings my soul rest just reflecting on the pure insight of it all ~ makes me feel so alive, and more importantly AWAKE…and present…. and AWARE in moments like this… when the understanding of how layered and complex and textured and gritty life is can be overshadowed by the ability to be vulnerable as I sort through it all and allow the soul to breathe….
I noticed something else too, that in John 15, He prunes even the vines that ARE bearing fruit…why? so that it will bear MORE fruit! more mature and wise blossoms…..have a glorious day sweet bella….
Great post! SO TRUE! Thank you Bernice. God bless you on your journey.
I am there with you, right now. I am seeing things that need pruning in my own life and that of my family. Such truth in your post. Thank you. Visiting you from iFellowship today!
Hi, I popped over from iFellowship and am following you now. I will HAVE to come back and read this when I can focus more,it looks like such an important post.
http://www.theshadesofpink.com/2010/09/midweek-buzz-beauty-and-beast.html
My favorite part of John 15 is verse 2 – where is says that the branches that are bearing fruit He prunes! What a comfort! He doesn’t prune those who aren’t already bearing fruit – He prunes so what is bearing fruit will bear more fruit!
I know it can be hard to be pruned – but this has always brought me comfort during the pruning seasons of my life!
Happy iFellowship Day! I hope you’re having a wonderful Wednesday!
Yes, this year was the first time I ever had to say “no.” I didn’t even know I was a “yes” person!
There are so many things that want to pull you apart, but seeking Him is a good place to start! And it’s a blessing if He still thinks you have growing to do!
I’ve been trying to take time to also be a little introspective and blogging has helped me sort through any issues I have.
Take care and hang in there! 🙂
Being an atheist, I don’t relate to the ‘gardener’ view, but I understand what you’d be going through.
And yes, I have thought through a pruning process for myself.
After a stressful move from the first world to the third world I went through postpartum depression almost 2 years after my son was born. But I’m past that and much better now, thanks to a very supportive husband and hobbies.
Good luck with your journey and take care!
Great posts, and great questions – sometimes I do get overwhelmed and have to remind myself that time does move and I need to take life one day at a time…
I hope your doing better for sure!
Sometimes a door shuts, but God will open three more. We just have to have faith in him to find the open ones.
You seem like you have it together. I bet you already know this.
Thanks for linking up with the Just One Change. Join us next Tuesday for another edition!
I think so many of us can relate to this post. I know that I can. Many times I have had to slow myself down and re-examine myself and everything I am doing. My evening devotions is when I reflect on all my going ons and where was my heart on each situation for that day and the Lord always speaks to me. Your post definitely spoke to me and I think I struggle with wondering what I have to take on and what I don’t… I am still learning all that. My biggest struggle is in my marriage. He works hard to provide for his familly but that is about all he does and everything else falls in my lap… I have to constantly keep myself in check to make sure I am focused on what God has for me… not an easy task when I feel like I am on my own as far as from a human stand point.. no help from my other half. It’s been a struggle for 23 years but the Lord has sustained me and blessed me in many other ways…..thanks for all your encouraging posts that you put on your blog. They are a blessing. ~ God Bless
Anne @ http://lessonsthrulife.com
Good post!
Thanks for sharing. I’ve got to get the guts to start some more severe pruning in my life. I’ve been doing the easy stuff. I realize I have to do more before things spin out of control. (Although adding a blog to might life might not have been the best choice!)
I’m glad you’ve chosen to turn toward God and strengthen your faith, instead of staying in that awful state of mind.
Wonderful story about your self. It is true what we don’t need we should throw them off, instead we tend to cling to all the unwanted garbage which eventually can only make our lives stink.
Let their be trimming from time to time, let us cleanse our mind, body and soul of all the toxins, breathe freely.
I also went through a lot in my life, and i know that only I was responsible for whatever happened in my life. I too suffered from what in medical term is called OCD.
However I have changed a lot, and now I find positiveness in everything, and life feels good too.
Wish you all the best in your life.
You can read my story, which got published in this site :
http://www.shortstorybook.net/2010/09/06/a-guest-story-i-find-my-inspiration-in-myself
You can post this link to people who might benefit from this story.
Thank you.
I need to do some pruning of my own. Things have gotten way to overgrown here. Great Post!!
I am following you (a day late) from Friday Follow Over 40. I would appreciate it if you could stop by and return the favor.
I am giving a Halloween Apron away to one of my followers 10/5
Thank you for your honesty. I too have been feeling like I’m at a point – mentally, emotionally, physically – where I’m about to break. I’m glad you’re getting through it and the pruning process is helping.
Just stopping by the relax and surf blog hop. 🙂
OH girl can I please get the T-shirt that says, been there doing that!!! In all honestly I have found that this is a daily process for me, pruning the desires of the flesh away and when I wake up and start to think, for even one second, Oh I got this undercontrol, I know I’ve got to get down on my kness in prayer and pull up all those weeds!!! But I have started to feel comfort and security in giving my days over to God to direct as He desires, it sure does take a load off of me. Thanks for sharing!!!!
I just came across your blog through a link and saw this! I can soooooooo relate. I just started the pruning process, but I had to share something with you. I am in a Bible Study by Beth Moore called “A Woman’s Heart”. It is a revised one she did years ago. And 2 weeks ago she was talking about how we need to “have a fit” with God everyday about our everyday lives. Things we dislike or are struggling with. She says He can take it. But, the point is…this one little seed that is planted inside us that we don’t deal with grows and grows into an uprooted tree out of control and one day you just fall apart in whatever way that is and end up in a big mess. This is why we need to take things to God Daily so we don’t get to this spot. I could so relate to this b/c my tree is out of control.
HOpe this helped!
This is a great post, and I’m happy to hear that things are starting to look up for you 🙂 In terms of ‘stuff’, I can tell you that I am a pro when it comes to pruning! I hate clutter and unnecessary ‘stuff’ in my house and constantly look for things to get rid of (must be why I have so little furniture LOL). I think that I apply the same ‘process’ to my relationships; I find myself ‘recycling’ friends on an annual basis. I stop to think about the people in my life – and the people who contribute nothing, or who contribute only negative energy re usually kicked to the curb. I think for me, who I surround myself does impact my perspective on things. I only want positivity 🙂
Visiting from SITS!
I never thought about pruning my life. I like the way that sounds. I will keep you in my prayers. It sounds like you have a wonderful family to support by you.
Blessings,
Ginger
My goodness, Bernice, I think so many of us can identify with this post. It is so easy to get caught up in the vines of life. I think I can blame it partly on TV. Women can get the feeling that they need to be all things to all people, and do it with a flair. Sometimes we have to learn these lessons the hard way. Pruning is difficult but necessary. Thank you for sharing your experiences. I know it will be helpful to a lot of us.
Blessings,
Charlotte
YES YES YES!! I’ve been pruned, am being pruned and each day see things that might need pruning. Just when I think I’m done pruning – I stumble across another weed that I need to get to the root of. SO what I feel is that I am the gardener. Christ through me gardens, BUT I must continue to be willing to garden. I’ve learned that EVERY day I must be INTENTIONAL about what I sow……Thank you for sharing your heart! LOVED your post!
Teri Johnson
http://keepingitpersonal.com
http://www.facebook.com/keepingitpersonal
I just found your blog and I am so glad I did! I feel like you are telling my story too! I can’t wait to really look around some more!
Hello,
Excellent post, and once the pruning is all done, a new garden can be planted,
one with deep SYMBIOTIC RELATIONSHIPS, and perhaps even new Symbiotic friends ! And a few less parasitic ones ! 😉 Stop on by this new Garden
http://www.utopiasprings.com/goe.htm
And discover a deep Symbiotic Garden for mind body and soul, one you just will want to move right into ! Arbors of beautiful new vines, grapes perhaps? or roses? and paths to the pond and rich trees all around, sheltering you and your friends, people, animals and plants.
Thanks for sharing important discoveries
Steve
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