I posted earlier this week that I was summoned for jury duty. I also posted recently how I always wanted to be “normal” like everyone else. I stated that I had come to the conclusion that we are ALL normal, we’re ALL messed up! Well, while serving on jury duty this week, I learned that unfortunately, there are quite a few who even more messed up that the rest of us.
I served on a case of armed robbery that took place in a close knit community in my small city. We are actually more of a large town, and we like to think it is a fairly decent place to live. Unless you live in this neighborhood, and a few others around it. We have heard about these places, and are grateful we don’t live there, but we really have no idea what that life is like. 
The defendent was 21 years old and had already served time for burgulary. The victim was a known felon, and we all “knew” he was a drug dealer. And so did the entire neighborhood. The accomplices and witnesses were all under the age of 22. The girls connected with this case were no older than 20 and pregnant with a second or third child. Unemployment, drugs, gambling, guns, prostitution and lots of children out of wedlock is rampant in this community. Now, I am not naive enough to say it is not going on elsewhere in my town, and I am not trying to look down my nose at anybody. For heavens sake, I had my first child at 16!
No, what bothers me, is that this is a way of life for this community. The young people live this way because it is what their mama did. They hear gunshots and think nothing of it. Most of the time, crimes are not even reported, as they involve illegal activity on both parts, victim as well as perpetrator. At any given time of the day or night, you will see people rolling dice, playing cards, and guns are a common household item. For heaven sake, one of the state’s witnesses had sex with the defendent so he would pay her phone bill!
My children went to school for a while with some of the kids from this neighborhood. The high school is a rough school, feels like an inner city school. Fights every day, racial tension is still very high in this southern community. It is sad to me that most of them don’t even know that they could do better for themselves. They don’t have role models to look up to. They wouldn’t even know where to begin.
Education could help raise them out of their situation. Our state has a great lottery-funded program whereby students can get full academic scholarships at our public colleges, or at our technical schools (and this one is not dependent upon grades at all) I don’t have a clue if we have a boys and girls club in our town, and I am not sure what the local churches may be doing. I know a few years ago, I was involved at a youth community center that was faith-based and we did draw kids from all different walks. It was great for the year it was there, but I have to admit, that even then, I really had NO IDEA what these kids lived with.
I am not sure what I am going to do with this feeling of unrest I have, but if definitely makes me thankful for what I DO have. I am going to have to pray and think over this whole issue in our town and see what may already be available and how I can help.
For those who may wonder how the case went (and I can talk about it now that I am done with jury duty) we had a hung jury 6-6. We could not come to agreement. The problem was, EVERYBODY was lying, so it was difficult to corroborate stories and there was no physical evidence. While we all actually felt he was guilty, we did not know to what degree, and the biggest issue was that the state did not prove beyond reasonable doubt, that he was indeed guilty. And that is the tricky part, understanding the law and applying it to the facts and determining the verdict. Our justice system has so many great parts about it, but oh so much duplication. Now, this young man will have to be tried again with a different jury, and hopefully the state or his defense will be able to better prove innocence or guilt.
And I learned something about myself as well. Dealing with the law and the court system and the attorneys is not for me! I have never thought of being in criminal justice, but now if that thought ever crosses my mind, I can shoot it down real quick (no pun intended!)
I do want to say, that I am bad to offend and stick my foot in my mouth, so if I offended anyone, I am sorry! I am in no way trying to stereotype a person or group of people. These are just my feelings and my personal experiences! If anyone else has served on jury duty, I would like to hear your experiences!
Bernice,
I’m an African-American woman. I grew up in a middle-class home with two educated, hardworking parents who stressed education and making good choices in life.
It saddens me to think that there are indeed people who live their lives in the situations you describe. Having volunteered for organizations that reach out to these folks, it appears these issues are generational–children learning what their parents lived. It’s a cycle.
But it certainly isn’t helpful to view them as curiosities in a cage, either. Throwing my arms up in the air and thanking the heavens I’m not like these people would make ME a disgrace–more so than they are, spiritually speaking.
This isn’t about race, Bernice. This is about CLASS.
I served jury duty in my city, where we have several poor Whites. These people had the exact same issues as the poor Blacks in your post.
It would be great if we, as Americans interested in positivity and a society that respects values like progress, education, achievement, and tolerance, could actually work together to find solutions.
It’s so hard, but let’s find REAL solutions for people, regardless of class or race.
And not just stand on the sidelines–comparing notes.
Lynn
Lynn,
You are absolutely right. It is a class issue and not a race issue. We have many whites with the same issues as well. And while I have hit some bumps in my own road recently, my eldest daughter and I have spoke about trying to start a mom’s group for the young mother’s in our town. If we can come along side and educate and encourage, maybe we can empower them and help make a difference, even if for just a few. And you never know what those few just might do!
Thank you for commenting!
Bernice
I realize in my earlier comment I came across as downright mad. And I was at the time.
But your response to the situation in your neighborhood is, in my opinion, a good one. Forget whether or not it’s even “successful” in the end. You’re just beginning. Picking up some bricks and starting to build a foundation for serious change initiates a special kind of magic. That’s what I’ve found anyway.
I get discouraged by the comfy, self-satisfied feelings so many of us middle-class folks share. While you and I struggle with work issues or with trying to find balance in life, think of a poor child. Think of the child of one of those young mothers you learned of during jury duty, a child who has seen violence, known hunger, and possibly great heartache and fear.
Well, thanks for your respectful response, Bernice. I do love your beautiful, insightful blog.
Lynn
Oh, and I should never had said I was “mad” after reading your post. Just irritated, actually.
Thanks again,
Lynn
[...] June, I served on jury duty for the first time. It was a very interesting experience. I can’t say I would want to do it again, but it truly [...]
[...] June, I served on jury duty for the first time. It was a very interesting experience. I can’t say I would want to do it again, but it truly [...]
I served on a jury this week for the trial of a 56 year old man who shot and killed his 19 year old stepson during an altercation with his wife. I am having LOTS of strange emotions since the trial ended and I’m sort of glad to see others have struggled with some of the same distress.
I was very fortunate in that every single person that served on the jury with me was sincerely interested in seeing that we not only came to the correct verdict but that every person involved was treated with respect. Each juror was an active participant. All of the evidence was discussed and a decision reached…all while being respectful of all persons involved and also of the process itself. I cannot imagine any jury doing it any better. And I was surprised by this. So the fact that after having such a positive experience with the jury and process itself I was also very surprised that I had such strange feelings about it all afterwards.
I have feelings of a strange grief…grief for the victim and what he went through as he was dying…grief for his mother as she tried to save him…grief for his siblings. And grief for the defendent. He’d never been in any trouble before and in the blink of an eye made a decision that altered so many lives. It worries me now that something that happens so fast can change everything. I was only given two days to learn everything there was to know about the death and the hours before and after. And also in that time I was expected to determine if a crime had been committed…if so, what crime…and what the appropriate punishment should be! Somehow that doesn’t seem like enough time. And yet it was. But all the while my brain was processing all of the information and completing the task at hand my heart was in waiting…and now that the task is complete my heart is processing the information and the impact and the human aspect of it all.
I also feel very burdened by the fact that I was involved in such an important decision that affected so many other people…strangers. I kept thinking…are they crazy? I had trouble deciding what to wear to court and they think I’m qualified to pass judgement on someone else’s life? And again, I think, no I KNOW, the jury made the right decision based on the evidence presented.So it’s not a feeling of not being sure or thinking I’ve done something wrong…it’s just…well…heavy.
It’s only been two days and I’m already annoyed by people who knew nothing of the case except that I was on the jury and what they read in the paper the next day stopping by to ‘congratulate’ me on the verdict…as though any of it was a ‘win’ for anyone. There were no winners in this case…and certainly not me! And how dare they claim to know anything about anything…they weren’t there! And STOP sending me links to OTHER trials and saying “This would be an interesting jury to be on!” No. It. Wouldn’t. It should never be ‘interesting’ to see families suffer and people’s lives changed forever. Unless it’s in Church. I’m sure I was just like them before this week…so I should be more tolerant but somehow I want to yell at them to shut up!
So – jury duty is an experience that I would never want to give back. And one I wouldn’t ever want to have again. And one I will have on my heart…maybe forever.
And this turned into a tirade that I wasn’t intending…I hope, given your own experience with the heavy emotions that jury duty invoked in you, that you will forgive my intrusion.